eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
