remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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