Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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