R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
