areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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