At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
