hotel room ftw
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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