Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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