He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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