he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
