i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I've blown a few things in my day
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
