I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If that was your dad, he is hot
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
