yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
