so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
