if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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