Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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