she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
