About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
