I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I think I am morally bankrupt
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
