Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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