my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
