I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
