Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
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