I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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