lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
