I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
