very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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