didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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