they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
