I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
