there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
