He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
