Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am mentally ready for anal.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
