i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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