Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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