Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
