I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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