Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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