My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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