You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
