well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
