Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
