sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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