PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
