i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
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The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
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Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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