seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
