MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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