i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
