No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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