next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
