i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
