I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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