Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
