i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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