Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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