Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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