wrigley field is MILF paradise
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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